During consultations, I am examining my patients by means of our dialogue. Often the patient is unaware that I am examining them. They assume we are simply having an interesting conversation. I am almost never doing that.
I am primarily seeking to understand how clearly my patient understands who she is and what is her “skill” in wielding her innate self-healing power.
Her answers to such questions are less important to me than my learning how skillfully my patient is able to observe “herself”. Many persons find it confusing and difficult to answer such questions.
The more clearly I understand my patient’s ability to observe herself the more I am able to guide her, and design for her therapeutic activities that will assuage her anxiety; or help her resolve her conflicts with her spouse.
Many of us literally do not know what we want and what we fear. For example, “What are you afraid your husband will do if you tell him …. blank?” What do you desire sexually? What do you want that group of people to think of you? What do you not want them to think of you? etc
Such questions reveal a simple not knowing and feeling confused about how to find out. More often the questions bring up embarrassment or shame The patient feels that only certain desires or fears are appropriate and others are shameful. These limit the patient’s ability to learn what is actually true for them; what they genuinely desire or fear.
The same applies to such experiences as being jealous, envious, proud, ashamed. The patient feels that she “should” not be experiencing such feelings, so she denies and suppresses these feelings. Suppression always leads to rebellion. These feelings manifest as bodily symptoms and myriad illnesses.